Should We Focus on Veteran Suicide Numbers?

     Twenty two Veterans take their own life every day. You have heard the staggering numbers, over 8000 a year. But is this something that we should be focusing on, be raising money for? The humble opinion of this Retired SGM says not exactly. WHAT did he say? Well hang on and read a little further.

     Veteran suicide is sweeping the Nation like an epidemic. So, let's use that analogy then to solve this problem. If we are going to stop an epidemic, do we expend money and effort talking about the deaths after they happen, yes, but little compared to finding the cause of the disease, find the the vector that spreads it, educate those who might get it how to prevent getting it, teach them what to expect. So this should be our attack plan with this "epidemic".

     Find the cause of the disease. Ok, that is mostly simple; PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), MST (Military Sexual Trauma and TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). But we need to do more work to treat the PTSD, MST and TBI early on. We must teach those who have been in situations that may cause one of these 3 injuries, about what to expect, what symptoms are triggers to indicate the injuries are not in control, and provide education as to how to reduce the strength of the symptoms through things like meditation, yoga, art therapy, equine therapy, cognitive based therapy, properly dosed medication in conjunction with their Primary Care Provider-provided medications for other injuries.

     Once the symptoms show up, we must get rid of the vectors that "spread" PTSD into a chain of negative behavior and results, causing a downward spiral of unemployment, relationship issues with spouses, children, friends and family, homelessness, and loss of hope.  So, how do we do that? We need to help warriors get, and keep, employment buy helping them transition into Veteran life, teaching them how to redevelop civilian-based skills, get a trade/skill and have proper clothing to wear to work in a professional office.

     The next "vector," relationships. We must provide resources that help those who have been through terrible trauma, who are looking to avoid relationships, establish and maintain relationships based on being back home; relationships that are safe. We must teach them to recognize their triggers, to teach the others in the relationship those triggers, so that when they occur, and they will, they are prepared to use tools to bring them back down. This includes spouses, kids, parents and his/her buddies.

     Next "vector," homelessness. At this point, things are going poorly and efforts to turn this downward spiral back upward through finding Veteran-related shelters where counseling such as financial, mental health, relationship, physical-therapy etc can be taught in a safe place where other Vets with similar issues. A place to give them hope.  Then it's important to transition them back into back their own, self-supported residence.

     So, educate, resource and support those who are being affected by their PTSD, MST or TBI. Stop focusing solely on the 22 are taking their own lives every day. Focus on the 1 million who have PTSD, MST and TBI every day. Everyone one of the 22 likely followed the path above, so focus on the path. Stop the trip before it goes down the path and there is still time to turn the trip around before it ends up the final parking lot.

     Our Until It Is Zero Project will take this approach this summer. It is the right path...  This is an open discussion, so feel free to join the conversation below

--SGM DTB

As We Approach Veteran's Day

I thought I would kick off my long-planned but too busy to execute blog just prior to Veterans Day as it seemed most appropriate. And I had the time to finally crank it out.

If you find my blog controversial, good. For too long, society, and sometimes her Veterans, have spouted rhetoric about the life, sacrifice and death of those who have served this Nation. I have probably done it as well in a weak moment. What is this rhetoric? On my personal Facebook page, I shared a few articles from individuals that I agreed with some of their writing. Society likes to go along, blindly at times, and give rhetorical thanks for our service and plop us on the proverbial pedestal. They do not do this wrongly, they just don't know what is, in my opinion (and this is my blog, so my opinion is king) the more appropriate, more meaningful way to take care of our Veterans. And let me be perfectly clear, I am a retired Soldier of almost 23 years, the son of a Soldier of almost 43 years, so I have a frame of reference. To some, you will think I am tearing down my brothers and sisters, and hence generations of my family. That couldn't be further from the truth. I want them treated the right way, and for them to act the right way.

Let's start this back at the beginning. Those of who served, chose to serve, knowing full well the consequences, including making the ultimate sacrifice. To be clear, those who have died in the name of the country are exempt from most of the below. They do deserve to be put on a pedestal, revered for their sacrifice and be called hero. So, we all chose this life because we wanted to protect our families, our land, our Nation, and give back to this wonderful country that has birthed our freedom. We all joined for various reasons, but by our own hand. We all knew full well the potential pain, suffering, loss of: limb, life, relationships, love, family, friends and joy we would all possibly endure. We probably didn't know how much loss we would have, but we didn't care. We joined to serve. So, while I love hearing "thank you for your service", you do not need to thank me. It was my choice. I would prefer that you thanked me for pain and suffering that I go through on a daily basis. My beaten and battered body, while truly only 49 years old, is likely more of a 70 year old's due to my service. Repeated surgeries and Dr's appointments for illnesses and injuries literally from head to toe, dumptrucks full of meds, limping and moaning when I move or don't move, all lend to a non-joyous life sometimes. But, it is the life I chose, so you do not need to thank me. Rather, I would prefer you donate to a foundation that is finding a cure for traumatic brain injury, or PTSD or chronic fatigue syndrome or to make advancements in making body parts work after they are beaten by heavy rucks, hand to hand fighting, and long arduous days in the sun, cold and rain.

But those of who chose this life, go about our daily lives, without need for thanks, without need for pity, without a need for you to be scared of us. So, no you don't need to pity us, that is the last thing a true warrior wants. You can pity the family who gave their son and daughter in defense of this land. They did not choose to lose their child, so hold them, tell them you are proud of their brave warrior and give them comfort when they weep from the void in their life. And to be clear, you don't need to be scared of us. I am still Darren Bean from small-town Vermont. I am not going to go postal on you killing you and 5 family members at Denny's. For those struggling with PTSD and TBI, where the brain has been physically affected by trauma, "going postal" is NOT one of things that happens normally. Any death as a result of PTSD or TBI is usually just the Veteran them self. The pain, the sorrow, the nightmares, the loss of hope of being "normal" again, makes them tragically take their life because they feel they have no better option. The only thing you should fear is that we will lose this great person and future leader of this Nation. That is scary.

To my brothers and sisters who served: It is our job to continue to be who we were in the service for this Nation, if we are physically able. Do not wallow in pity because you are no longer pulling triggers with your buddies or because you walk a little funny every day. Be like my Veteran buddy NL, who despite having a horrible injury a few years ago, has a "don't pity me, don't give me anything, don't help me" attitude. His attitude is phenomenal, better than my sorry a**. Don't expect a better seat at the table. You will get it, but don't expect it. You, of all people, know better than to put your self on a pedestal. You will have that better seat, those Sox tickets, be put on that pedestal; just stop expecting it. It is not who we are. We all chose to join, selflessly went about our mission in uniform sacrificing for our comrades, whatever the cost. I didn't do it so I could get front row tickets at a Five Finger Death Punch concert. If I can't afford them, I will go without. I don't DESERVE them. I don't expect a Nation to reward me for my choice.

So, you say, you don't want anything and don't want the Nation to help it's Veterans? How do you run a nonprofit for Veterans? Well, you obviously need to re-read what I wrote. There are many who need assistance because of their sacrifice. So, we need to help them. They protected our freedom and it cost them something, that they knew was possible, but that, if we can afford it, should be paid back to them. We don't all need help; some of us have been blessed with a great family, great job, few struggles, and a great life, after we left the uniform in the closet. But many weren't that blessed. So, they are the ones who we will help; they are the ones we are asking you to help.

Enjoy your Veterans Day weekend. Shout and cheer when the Veterans march by or they stand next to you in the crowd. Put your hand on their shoulder and just look in their eyes, they will understand how you feel.

--SGM DTB